


if i could (i'd ask you to come back)

by jaeson



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-09 00:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11657937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeson/pseuds/jaeson
Summary: On Saturday, they fight. It’s stupid and it’s Daniel’s fault is all that Daniel can remember. He is screaming, which is a rare occurrence, he is normally not like that, he shouldn’t have been like that. Seongwoo is listening to him, numbly nodding in all the right places as silent tears roll down his cheek. Daniel should have known when to stop.Or alternatively: Ten things Kang Daniel misses about Ong Seongwoo: A List





	1. Chapter 1

** Ten things Kang Daniel misses about Ong Seongwoo: A List **

**Number 1: His cooking**

Seongwoo is standing in the kitchen with the fridge open as he looks through all of the ingredients that they have. He is wearing one of Daniel’s black hoodies, it is a little big on him but Daniel thinks he still looks really fucking adorable.

The younger boy can’t help but smile at Seongwoo.

Daniel goes over to Seongwoo, rests his chin on the other’s shoulder and wraps his arms around the older’s waist, back hugging him.

“Do you want anything special?” Seongwoo asks, leaning into Daniel’s touch.

“Not really, I’m fine with anything you make, to be honest,” he replies, he himself looking at the fridge’s content. “I don’t think my fridge has ever been this full, wow.”

“Yeah, I went grocery shopping yesterday since all you had was spoiled milk,” Seongwoo laughs.

“Jesus,” is all he can say back.

Seongwoo just keeps on laughing at him. The older boy takes a hold of Daniel’s hand and intertwines it with his own, lightly caressing Daniel’s knuckles with his thumb. They stay in that position for a while before Seongwoo makes them separate.

He takes some eggs, bacon and parmesan out of the refrigerator.

“I’m going to make spaghetti a la carbonara since we didn’t have any breakfast anyway,” Seongwoo announces, grinning at Daniel happily.

“I can’t wait,” Daniel answers, leaning against the kitchen counter.

For the next half an hour, Daniel watches Seongwoo’s every move. Although the older boy didn’t look like it, he was more often than not a bit clumsy, that, however, changed every time he stepped into a kitchen. It seemed like every single movement he made was calculated, even in just his boxers and Daniel’s for him oversized sweater he looked like the most elegant person on earth.

“It’s done!” Seongwoo announces contently, snapping Daniel out from his thoughts. “Tell me if you like it.”

He places a plate full of spaghetti in front of Daniel and hands him a fork, eagerly waiting to see what the younger thinks of his meal. Daniel chuckles before he actually tastes it.

“Fuck, this is really good,” he says sincerely.

Daniel immediately takes another bite, treasuring the bacon’s smokiness and the creaminess of the sauce plus the perfectly cooked spaghetti. Seongwoo’s face lightens up as he sees that Daniel genuinely likes his food.

They laugh together as they eat, teasing each other about last night – about their tipsy make-up sex and the way Daniel had embarrassed himself by calling his college professor “dad” during a seminar. It feels so incredibly domestic, it makes Daniel’s heart swell up with affection.

**Number 2: His smell**

For the longest of time, Daniel had never notice how each person has a distinct smell  – his mother had told him it’s because their family normally has a very bad sense of smell but Daniel is sure that he was just being ignorant at the time.

For the longest of time, Daniel had never noticed how Seongwoo smells like a mix of strawberry (because of his body wash), coconut (because of his shampoo) and when he was wearing freshly washed clothes, he also smelled like his lavender fabric softener.  Daniel knows that for other people it would be a rather weird mixture but Seongwoo’s smell always makes him feel happy.

He first smells it when Seongwoo and he are cuddling on his bed, Seongwoo’s head resting on Daniel’s chest as they watch some random Marvel movie. Daniel has his head on top of Seongwoo’s; he breathes in and out and then starts to recognize all of the different aromas Seongwoo emits.

“You smell like coconut,” Daniel points out, completely ignoring the film that’s playing.

Seongwoo chuckles at that and looks up at him with a smile. Daniel can’t help but grin back at him.

“Yeah, it’s my shampoo,” Seongwoo replies. “You smell like freshly cut grass and coffee. Why are you sniffing at me anyway?”

“I’m not sniffing,” Daniel exclaims, laugh escaping his lip. “It was just all over my nose, that’s why I noticed. You also kind of smell like strawberry now that I actually think about it. It smells nice.”

**Number 3: His cuddles**

When Daniel enters his apartment, he is completely and utterly exhausted.

Today his neurology professor had wanted him to stay back to discuss what he had to do to get some extra curriculum and pass the class, then he had missed his bus and had to come all the way home walking.

To say it nicely, today hadn’t been his best day.

He lets his backpack fall onto the floor and immediately heads towards the living room. The sight that greets him there almost makes up for all the shit that happened.

Seongwoo is curled up on the couch, watching some random variety.

It’s the cutest thing Daniel has seen in quite a while. Through all of his constant tossing, Seongwoo’s shirt has ridden down; exposing the smooth white skin of the older’s collar bone. Daniel gets the urge to bite it softly.

Daniel walks over to the couch and sits down. Seongwoo immediately starts smiling as soon as he sees him, which makes Daniel’s heart beat faster.

The older boy sits up and easily envelopes Daniel in a hug.

“Hey,” he whispers directly into the younger’s ear. “I missed you.”

Daniel embraces him back, muttering an “I missed you too, you don’t even know how much” and buries his face into Seongwoo’s chest. They fall back onto the couch like that, Seongwoo tightly holding onto him.

He then wiggles out of the other’s hug, moving to the side of the couch so that both him and Seongwoo are lying down, facing each other, Daniel’s hand on Seongwoo’s waist.

“You’re too far away,” Seongwoo frowns, cutely.

“We’re literally only a few inches apart,” Daniel chuckles, eyes crinkling and bunny smile forming on his face.

“A few inches too many,” the other whines.

Daniel can only laugh as he moves closer, plastering his forehead to Seongwoo’s and intertwining their fingers. Seongwoo pecks him on the lips and then closes his eyes, his hand moving towards Daniel’s hair.

The rhythm of Seongwoo’s breathing and Seongwoo’s hand caressing his hair lulls Daniel into sleep.

**Number 4:  Him being shorter than Daniel**

“Are you having any trouble reaching that?” Daniel smirks from behind Seongwoo, looking at the other boy as he stands on his tip toes and tries to reach for the baking sheet. 

Seongwoo turns around to glare at him for a millisecond before he goes back to trying to get a hold of the item. Daniel sighs audibly, teasingly, and walks over to Seongwoo. He presses his body against the older boy’s, hand sneaking onto his boyfriend’s waist, and then easily gets the baking sheet down from the top of the kitchen cabinet. To finish it off nicely, he kisses Seongwoo on the cheek.

“What are you going to bake, shorty?” He asks with a smirk on his face.

“I’m 180cm tall, I am most definitely not short,” Seongwoo answers, turning around in Daniel’s embrace and pecking him on the lips. “You’re only like 3cms taller, I’m not a shorty.”

“Whatever you say,” Daniel laughs, leaning in for another kiss.

**Number 5: His pouting that then leads to… other things**

”Ey, you know I hate horror movies, that’s so not fair,” Seongwoo pouts as he literally lies on top of Daniel, his chin resting on one of his hands as he looks into the younger’s eyes. “You selected the movie on purpose, didn’t you?”

Daniel only smirks at him and wiggles his eyebrows.

“I didn’t,” he replies smugly, his hands settling just above Seongwoo’s butt. “It’s my turn to choose the movie so you have no right to say no to this.”

Seongwoo just keeps on pouting at him, trying to act all cutesy on him so he will change the movie but Daniel is having none of it. He loves how Seongwoo clings onto him when he is scared.

“Please, please, please,” Seongwoo whines. “I’ll even pay for dinner the next time we go out even if it’s it’s your turn to do so.”

“Nope,” Daniel answers immediately, it makes Seongwoo pout again.

“Will it work if I say no sex for the next month if you don’t change the movie?” the older boy tries.

Now he is the one with a smug smile.

“I can live with no sex,” Daniel shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you sure?” Seongwoo smirks, suddenly sitting up so that he is straddling Daniel.

“Yep, pretty sure,” he doesn’t know why his voice suddenly became so high pitched. “Really I’m very, very sure. I’ve got no problem with it. At all.”

The older boy leans in to kiss him then, his hands cupping Daniel’s face lovingly. Daniel’s hands automatically grip Seongwoo’s waist, then wander down the other’s shirt to caress his bare skin. Seongwoo deepens the kiss then, tongue softly swiping along Daniel’s lips. His hands let go of Daniel’s face, instead they go under Daniel’s shirt and to his happy trail.

It’s no wonder that they don’t get to watch the movie that night.

**Number 6: Him stealing his clothes**

Daniel has been searching for his grey t-shirt for almost half an hour, he had even gotten so desperate that he had called his roommate Jisung, who was at his boyfriend’s house, to see if he had seen it (he hadn’t).

He is looking through his laundry pile when he hears the door to his apartment opening and closing. By the steps he hears, he immediately knows it’s Seongwoo. Daniel lets the clothes he had in his hand fall and goes out to greet his boyfriend.

“Hey, I came by to drop off some food before I go to my classes,” Seongwoo says, immediately walking to the kitchen.

“Thank you,” he smiles, cheerfully hugging the other. “Oh, by the way, have you seen my grey–“

Daniel doesn’t even have to finish his question before he knows the answer. Seongwoo has definitely seen it. He knows because his boyfriend is wearing it underneath his denim jacket. If it had been anyone else, Daniel would have complained but it looks so good on Seongwoo, he can’t say anything. He grins instead.

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” Daniel asks, teasingly.

Seongwoo looks flustered for a moment, the Tupperware he was holding almost falling to the ground. The boy just scratches the back of his neck shyly, adverting his gaze from the younger boy. Daniel loves how he could make the normally over-confident, outgoing Ong Seongwoo this nervous.

“It smells like you,” Seongwoo mumbles, blush spreading across his face. “I like that about it, makes my theater history lessons more bearable.”

Daniel only nods understandingly, watching in adoration how perfectly the shirt fits Seongwoo.

**Number 7: Waking up next to him**

The sunlight flits into the room through the curtain, making Daniel frown and try to bury his head more into Seongwoo’s bare back. His cold nose makes Seongwoo grumble in his sleep and turn over so that he’s facing the younger boy.

Daniel, pretty sure that he isn’t going to get any more sleep, slowly cracks one eye open.

He is faced with a sleepy Seongwoo, breathing steadily, hair all mussed from all his moving around during the night. The sunlight is beautifully falling onto his three moles and nose making his features even more breathtaking than they usually are.

“Quit staring at me,” Seongwoo suddenly yawns, eyes fluttering open, long eye lashes looking beautiful in the lighting. “Less looking at me; more cuddling.”

Daniel chuckles; sleepily moving closer towards where Seongwoo is. The older boy smiles, he is obviously satisfied just being an inch closer to Daniel.

“Good morning,” Seongwoo whispers, eyes closed again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ong Seongwoo.”

**Number 8: Getting protective over him**

It’s the first time in about a month that Daniel accidentally runs into Seongwoo on campus. Normally they agree to meet up since their faculties are so far apart – theater and medicine majors have never been the best of friends – or they just see each other directly at Daniel’s home.

But today he actually just randomly sees his boyfriend. Next to him is his best friend Jaehwan, who has an arm wrapped around his boyfriend’s – Sewoon, he thinks – waist, as both of them talk to a man Daniel has never seen before. Said man looks kind of scary, to say the least.

 His heart clenches in worry as he looks at the three of them talking to the man, Seongwoo in obvious discomfort judging by the frown on his face. Daniel feels his blood pressure rising as he continues to watch but can’t clearly figure out what the heck is happening. He decides to just head over to the group to check out what’s going on instead of watching them from the sidelines.

As soon as Seongwoo spots him, his entire body seems to relax. Daniel feels kind of proud.  He pecks his boyfriend’s lips as a greeting as his eyebrows rise in question to know what’s up.

“Hey, what are you doing? Don’t you have a lecture soon?” he inquires, hands wrapping around Seongwoo’s waist.

“Well, this guy over here,” Jaehwan points to the man Daniel had deemed as scary with an unimpressed look. “Chatted us up, obviously hitting on _your boyfriend_ although Seongwoo had told him he has a boyfriend. He’s been sneakily following us since then.”

“Until Jaehwan noticed, of course,” Sewoon adds with a small smile.

Daniel looks at Seongwoo to see if it’s true, Seongwoo nods. The older wraps his arms around Daniel’s waist too, head resting on the younger boy’s shoulder, seeking Daniel’s comforting warmth.

“Well, you can now clearly see he has a boyfriend, right?” Daniel asks with a confident smile. “There’s no need to follow him now, he’s off-limits, not in the dating market, not available.”

The man just huffs and indignantly walks away. For how scary he had come off, he really wasn’t.

“You okay?” he turns towards Seongwoo.

“Since you’re here yes,” Seongwoo grins, happily. “So lucky, you came just at the right time. Jaehwan was about to call the campus security.”

“That’s a relief then, the campus guard hates Jaehwan’s guts, I don’t think that would have been very useful,” Daniel replies teasingly, receiving Jaehwan’s middle finger as an answer. “I’ll pick you up after your lecture to make sure that dude’s not after you.”

“Oh, how nice, I have a personal bodyguard now, I am the new Whitney Houston,” Seongwoo laughs.

Daniel just pats the older’s head lovingly, listening as Seongwoo sings “I will always love you” on the top of his lungs, Sewoon and Jaehwan cringing next to them. 

He realizes then, he is completely and utterly in love with Ong Seongwoo.

**Number 9:  Him laughing without any reason**

“What is it? Do I have something on my face?” Daniel asks nervously.

Seongwoo has been laughing for at least ten minutes straight without any obvious reason, nothing funny had happened and Daniel hadn’t made a joke either, so the only thing that could crack up his boyfriend this much is Daniel having something on his teeth or him looking ridiculous in any way.

“No,” Seongwoo manages to breathe out, still laughing without a stop in sight. “It’ just…”

“What? What is so funny?” The younger boy whines, his arms now crossed over his chest and a grumpy frown on his face. “Why are you making fun of me?”

“I’m… I’m not making fun of you,” Seongwoo chuckles, trying to calm down. “I’m just really, really happy.”

“Stop joking around,” Daniel snaps, obviously in a bad mood now.

Seongwoo laughs one last time before he heads to where Daniel is sitting on a chair next to the dinner table. The older boy sits in the younger’s lap, looking at him with the most genuine smile.

“Seriously, seeing you just makes me really, really, really happy,” Seongwoo beams with the softest of voice.

Daniel isn’t completely convinced though so he just keeps staring at Seongwoo, trying to find out what actually is making the other laugh so much. Seongwoo, however, makes him forget all about the laughing as he leans in and kisses him, hard.

So hard that Daniel loses his balance and the both of them plus the chair fall onto the floor.

They end up laughing for another ten minutes, happily cuddling on the floor with tears in their eyes as they look at each other lovingly.

**Number 10:  Seeing him every day**

On Monday, Seongwoo is at Daniel’s apartment, once again cooking one of the most delicious meals Daniel has ever eaten.

On Tuesday, he meets Seongwoo over coffee, the both of them too busy with their exams to actually stay over at each other’s apartment. Jisung is also in Daniel’s so they can’t be alone anyway. Still, they enjoy cuddling in the hidden couches behind the entrance and laughing quietly as they talk.

On Wednesday, Seongwoo surprises him at his apartment. He is in his most comfortable sweats on one side of the table, books spread across half of it. On the other side is Jisung, who looks like he has had one coffee too much. Daniel just smiles, giving Seongwoo a kiss on the cheeks before he orders some take out for the three of them. They spend the rest of the night learning together. Sometimes him and Seongwoo take breaks to smile at each other. At 2 a.m. Seongwoo and Daniel pass out on the couch, Jisung is nice enough to cover them with a blanket.

On Thursday, they wake up and eat breakfast together. Then they meet up at Daniel’s after their lectures and watch a movie together with Jaehwan and Sewoon, sometimes stopping to gush over the latest new college couple or celebrity scandal.

On Friday, they do basically the same thing but just go out to eat with some of Seongwoo’s friends from the theater department during the evening.

On Saturday, they fight. It’s stupid and it’s Daniel’s fault is all that Daniel can remember. He is screaming, which is a rare occurrence, he is normally not like that, he shouldn’t have been like that. Seongwoo is listening to him, numbly nodding in all the right places as silent tears roll down his cheek. Daniel should have known when to stop.

On Sunday, Seongwoo is not there.

The next Monday, Seongwoo is not there.

The next Tuesday, Seongwoo is not there.

The next Wednesday, Seongwoo is not there.

The next week, Seongwoo is not there.

The next month, Seongwoo is not there.


	2. everything has passed (but you are so pretty)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the night, when all the lights are out and Daniel is lying in his bed alone, while listening to the rain tap against his window, he can’t help but admit that he misses Seongwoo and his warmth and his smell and almost everything about the older boy, really. 
> 
> But Daniel’s pride doesn’t let him reach out for his phone and call Seongwoo to try and talk this out like he wants to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, like i promised here is the sequel, im not too happy with it just bc i had major writer's block while writing this and it's rushed and shit but i still hope you like it!
> 
> also, you do not have to read this, it's just an option for people who like happy endings (like me)

There’s not a lot of things that can destroy a long and stable relationship. 

Secrets, however, can. 

*** 

_“When were you going to tell me?” Daniel asks as soon as the door is closed behind them, his hands forming into fists and his lips quivering from – nervousness? Anger? Disappointment? “Were you even going to?”_

_“I wasn’t,” Seongwoo admits._

_It makes Daniel’s blood boil. His body feels like it’s on fire, his head is spinning because of thousands of thoughts cluttering in his brain, because of all the curses he wants to aim at Seongwoo for **not fucking trusting** him with something so important but trusting all the rest of their friends with it. _

_Somehow, he is feeling so many emotions he can’t exactly pin-point, feeling so many things he didn’t know he was able to._

_On one side he feels like shit, mostly because how bad of a boyfriend must he have been for Seongwoo to not even be able to tell him about something as simple as an important job offers? An important offer that would have involved Seongwoo moving across the fucking globe, even._

_On the other side, however, he is just so, so fucking angry at Seongwoo._

_“Why?” he says, it’s almost a scream really. “Why didn’t you want to tell me?”_

_“I – I…” the older boy stutters, eyes pleading for Daniel to understand, to understand why he wasn’t able to talk about this._

_The stuttering is enough to make Daniel laugh bitterly, sadly._

_After that, everything is a blur._

_Daniel starts to yell, scream his lungs out, he starts to list off all the little things about Seongwoo he doesn’t like, for example how he bites his nails when he is nervous or how he leaves his clothes in a corner every time he showers and never picks them up afterwards, how he spends too much time and money on buying useless decorations for Daniel’s apartment or how he is never able to be serious when Daniel is angry or hurt, always trying to make things better with a joke._

_Seongwoo doesn’t say much, lets him silently shout out all of his frustrations. He doesn’t notice when tears start to stream down Seongwoo’s cheeks._

_“Let’s break up,” he hears himself say._

_He feels dead inside, exhausted and frustrated and angry. All he wants to do is have Seongwoo gone and be able to facepalm into his bed, to be able to sulk in peace._

_“D-Daniel,” Seongwoo breathes out, trying to reach out to him, eyes red and puffy. They’re pleading for Daniel to stop, for him to listen to Seongwoo and talk this out like proper adults, but Daniel can’t, his pride is too hurt, his heart too tired. “Daniel, please don’t do this.”_

_“Get out.”_

_As he watches Seongwoo leave, frame quivering as trembling hands open the front door, Daniel already regrets everything but he doesn’t call the other boy’s name, doesn’t try to fix things._

*** 

“Daniel, you need to go to class, it’s been a week already,” Jisung groans. 

He tries to take away the blanket from Daniel’s hands and shove him off the sofa but Daniel is stronger and all of his attempts fail miserably. Jisung sends him an exasperated glare before he gives up. 

“Have you…” Daniel already knows what’s coming. “Have you talked to S–?” 

“Don’t mention his name,” he whines, childishly covering his ears with his hands so that he can’t hear Jisung, so that he can’t hear, for the hundredth time, someone saying _that_ name. “I haven’t. I probably won’t either.” 

“You do know that you’re probably ruining one of the best relationships you have had over a simple misunderstanding, right?” Jisung replies, his bag slung over his shoulder as he puts on his shoes. 

“It wasn’t a misunderstanding,” Daniel clarifies. “He didn’t tell me about it and he wasn’t planning to, either.” 

“You would have probably done the same, Daniel,” Jisung points out. 

When he hears the door close behind Jisung, he buries his nose into his blanket and, just to prove Jisung wrong, thinks of how, if he would have been in Seongwoo’s shoes, he would have just honestly talked about the matter at hand. 

(He ignores the way his stomach tightens uncomfortably when he thinks about having to choose between accepting the opportunity to chase his dreams, but in another country, or rejecting it to keep trying it in Korea, where Seongwoo and his friends are.) 

*** 

Daniel wakes up from his nap at almost 6 p.m. when he hears a knock on his door. 

Although he is still half-asleep, he can’t help but be excited – he isn’t sure if excited really is the right word to describe the mix of anxiety, hope and anger that is bubbling inside of him but he can’t find another word to describe how he is feeling. He fixes his hair, running his fingers through it, before opening the door. 

“Hey,” the person on the other side greets him with the most awkward smile Daniel has seen in a while. 

Daniel’s hands ball up into fists and his eyes narrow at, of all people, _Minhyun._ The other boy is nervously tapping his feet and fidgeting with his fingers as he waits for any kind of response from Daniel. 

“What are you doing here?” is the only thing Daniel can muster. 

“Well, Seongwoo…” Daniel flinches at the name. “Sent me over. He wasn’t sure if you wanted to see him or not, so… Anyway, he told me he has most of his stuff over here and he would need some of it, says he doesn’t have any clean clothes anymore and that his notebook is here, too, yeah…” 

Daniel nods, opening the door a little further for Minhyun to enter. 

“Thanks,” Minhyun mutters, toeing off his shoes. “Can you tell me where his things are?” 

He gestures for the older to follow him and leads him to his bedroom. Daniel opens one side of his wardrobe to reveal clothes that are mostly Seongwoo’s. 

Minhyun smiles at him nervously before he proceeds to stuff everything into a tiny duffle bag Daniel recognizes as Seongwoo’s gym bag. He watches Minhyun’s every move, his heart hurting a little bit every time a new clothing item is shoved into the bag. 

“He… misses you,” Minhyun says when he is finished and is walking in front of Daniel towards the door. “I know that you guys fighting is all my fault and I’m so sorry for that, I shouldn’t have mentioned _that_ job offer, it happened months ago and I thought you knew about it… that Seongwoo had gotten over of his irrational fear of you wanting to leave him if he told and that he had talked to you about it but –“ 

“Stop speaking,” Daniel interrupts him. 

Minhyun does as he is told, his mouth closing immediately, a small frown on his face. 

“We didn’t fight because of you, no need to feel sorry, maybe it was for the best anyway,” Daniel continues, his fingers reaching for the doorknob. 

“Daniel – “ 

“See you around, Minhyun.” 

Minhyun leaves the house with his head hanging low and his hand gripping the back tightly. 

*** 

Daniel knows it’s petty and childish but he gets angry at Seongwoo again after that, because why the heck would he send Minhyun? He could have come for his things himself. 

He should have come to Daniel’s apartment and tried to make up, tried to explain himself to Daniel before giving up on their relationship, before giving up on Daniel. 

*** 

It takes another week for Daniel to stop lying around in his house and actually go back to his classes. Jisung is overjoyed about Daniel being back, treats him for lunch and, for that day, he even stops mentioning Seongwoo. 

Daniel knows he should be happy, should feel liberated and want to enjoy his new life as a single person on the dating market but he can’t. 

Every time he sees couples hanging out in front of his faculty, his chest squeezes uncomfortably, every time he sees someone from the theater department, he can’t help but wonder about how Seongwoo is doing, if he is missing Daniel, if he’s healthy, which is absolutely fucked up because in the end it was Daniel who had decided to stop, who had the decided to break off their entire relationship in a fit of anger. 

*** 

During the night, when all the lights are out and Daniel is lying in his bed alone, while listening to the rain tap against his window, he can’t help but admit that he misses Seongwoo and his warmth and his smell and almost everything about the older boy, really. 

But Daniel’s pride doesn’t let him reach out for his phone and call Seongwoo to try and talk this out like he wants to. 

*** 

“Daniel!” 

He turns around where he is sitting on a bench in a park near the university only to came face to face with a sweating Jaehwan. The other boy has his bag almost dropping off his shoulders as he hurriedly runs towards him, face red. 

“Hey…” he sighs, trying the best to form a polite smile on his face because after all, Jaehwan is still Seongwoo’s best friend and it makes Daniel feel kind of weird. 

“Hello to you too, it’s been almost a month since we last saw each other,” Jaehwan responds, looking around nervously, as if trying to look for something. “I would love to meet you under any other circumstances, you know when you and Seongwoo are not fighting, talking about Seongwoo… have you seen him around?” 

Daniel frowns and shakes his head, a feeling akin to worry settling uncomfortably in his stomach. 

“No, is everything alright?” 

The look on Jaehwan’s face is the only answer he needs to know that no, it’s not, but Jaehwan re-assures him, telling him it’s nothing – Daniel doesn’t believe him at all. 

While watching Jaehwan wave at him as he runs towards their university campus, all tense and obviously worried, he has the urge to chase after him, take a hold of his wrist and ask what’s going on, if Seongwoo is alright. 

(“Please, don’t let it be anything important, please let Seongwoo be okay,” is all he thinks about while listening to his neurology professor talk about nerves and synapses and other things Daniel is not really interested in right now.) 

*** 

**From: Kim Jaehwan** [02:36 a.m.] 

I figured you might have been worried after watching me run around like an idiot, Seongwoo is alright. Don’t worry. 

*** 

Daniel doesn’t see Seongwoo again until almost four weeks after their fight when he sees him on the way to his lecture, Jaehwan walking like a bodyguard beside him, hand on Seongwoo’s shoulders as if he was telling him where to go. 

Seongwoo, who used to be like a Duracell battery, able to make everyone laugh and happy in a matter of seconds, looks glum, exhausted. 

He has dark circles under his eyes, they almost reach the corner of his lips, his skin is pale, so much paler than it used to be, it’s a weird sickly white color that makes Seongwoo look a zombie, his lips are now a faint pink. 

What strikes Daniel the most though is that Seongwoo seems to be only bones now, his cheeks hollow, even his skinny jeans seem to be too big on him. 

His heart aches in his chest, the sudden lust to go over, wrap him up in blankets and make sure that he is eating and drinking enough, is almost too big to ignore. But he catches himself and doesn’t walk over. 

Instead he just watches Seongwoo until he disappears behind a building with Jaehwan worriedly looking over him. 

Daniel feels his chest tighten as he wonders what is happening to Seongwoo. 

*** 

**To: Kim Jaehwan** [15:04 p.m.] 

What happened to Seongwoo? 

*** 

**From: Kim Jaehwan** [15:12] 

Why don’t you ask him yourself? 

*** 

“I still don’t understand why you broke up with him,” Jisung suddenly blurts out while the both of them are watching some kind of wild life documentary. “You loved each other so much, it’s such a pity, from what I heard from Minhyun –“ 

“Why are you bringing this up again?” Daniel sighs, turning to meet Jisung’s gaze. 

“Because I’m worried,” the other responds honestly, his hand reaching out to take a hold of Daniel’s. “I know no matter how much you try to act like you’re fine, that you’re not. I hear you screaming out his name in the middle of the night, I see the way you glare at couples and theater majors, Jesus, Daniel you even keep setting up the table for three people whenever I am over.” 

He can’t argue with that, because it’s true but he – he is so fucking scared. 

“I can’t just go over there and be like ‘hey, sorry I broke up with you, do you want to be my boyfriend again?’. This is not some stupid drama or teenage flick, relationships aren’t so easy to heal,” Daniel says, his voice quivering. 

“I’m fully aware of that, Daniel,” Jisung sighs. “But that doesn’t mean that you can’t make up for _both_ of your faults, doesn’t mean that the both of you can’t work through this.” 

“But I haven’t talked to him for a month, I can’t just…” Daniel tries to reason, looking at Jisung with scared eyes. 

“To be honest, I’m pretty sure Seongwoo is just waiting for you to come to him,” the older boy reassures him, gently caressing the back of Daniel’s hand with his thumb. “For the past month, he has been sending me texts to make sure you are okay, to see if you have eaten and sometimes, when I forget, he reminds me of your timetables and tells me to force you to study if you don’t want to. He misses you as much as you miss him.” 

“Why didn’t he try to talk to me then?” he asks. “Why would he send you texts but not try to find out how I am doing? Why do I have to be the one to make the first move?” 

“Would you have told him, Daniel? If he would have tried to talk to you, you would not have even answered, making your relationship unrepairable, you know that and Seongwoo knows that, too, he has been waiting for weeks now, don’t you think it’s time to make up?” 

*** 

He stands in front of Seongwoo’s apartment door for at least fifteen minutes until he finally gathers all of his courage and knocks on the door with a trembling hand, a deep sigh escaping his lips while he waits. 

“Hey,” he mumbles when it opens to show Seongwoo. 

The older boy is in jogging pants and a t-shirt, a t-shirt Daniel definitely recognizes as his own. 

Seongwoo seems taken aback to see him, his eyes and mouth both wide open, but he lets him in nonetheless, lets Daniel take off his shoes and enter the living room, lets him stand awkwardly in front of the TV. 

“Hey,” Seongwoo whispers back when he, too, is in the room, a few meters away from Daniel. 

He still has dark circles under his eyes, he still is too thin in contrast to how he used to be, from up close Daniel notices how taut his skin has become, how Seongwoo’s lips are not even pink anymore, just a weird shade of light beige. 

Without thinking, Daniel walks over to him, his hands reaching out to cup Seongwoo’s cheeks and caress them, his heart beating fast in his chest, from both worry and excitement to be this near to Seongwoo again. 

“I’m sorry,” Seongwoo mumbles as he looks directly into Daniel’s eyes and leans into the younger’s touch. “I’m so sorry, I know I should have told you about the job offer but I… I couldn’t. I’m so, so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” Daniel smiles weakly. “It’s okay.” 

“But it’s not,” Seongwoo protests, his own hands coming to fist into the fabric of Daniel’s hoodie. “It’s not at all, I should have told you, we are… were supposed to be a team and I just took this huge decision by myself because I was scared you wouldn’t want the same. You’re the person I trust the most in this whole world, I should have told you.” 

“Yeah, you should have,” Daniel agrees easily, taking a step closer to Seongwoo. “But I also should not have yelled at you and told you all the things I said, okay? We both made mistakes but we can… make up for it, right? We can work it out together and do better next time, right?” 

Seongwoo has tears threatening to spill down his cheeks but he bites his lips and nods. 

He, after a moment of hesitation, throws himself into Daniel’s arms, burying his nose deep into the crook of Daniel’s neck. Daniel reciprocates by wrapping his arms tighter around Seongwoo’s waist, breathing the older boy’s scent in and enjoying the way it makes his muscles relax. 

“I missed you so, so much,” Seongwoo whimpers into his neck, his breathe tickling Daniel’s skin. 

*** 

At night, when Seongwoo is curled up next to him on the bed, the older boy’s head resting on his chest while Daniel plays with his hair lovingly, watching the steady rise and fall of Seongwoo’s chest, Daniel feels happy, so much happier than he had been the past few weeks. 

Seongwoo, who had confessed to not having been eating and sleeping well without Daniel, is relaxed in Daniel’s arms, eyes closed, and finally catching up on all the sleep he had missed. 

While looking at Seongwoo, at his three cute moles on his cheeks, at his long eyelashes and the beautiful curve of his nose, at his now red lips, which he had kissed senseless just minutes before, Daniel can’t believe how unbelievably lucky he is to have Seongwoo, to have a person he can share so much with and trust, to have a person where he knows that no matter what comes their way, be it job offers, troubles at college or work, will find their way back to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i hope this satisfied your happy ending needs asnjfjsn
> 
> anway, if you have requests pls hit me up @ my tumblr ongsniel or my twitter @onghwangism!
> 
> also, announcement, im also writing for onghwang, onghwan and ongwink now, so if you have a requests for those pairings, message me!

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, i hope you guys liked it! 
> 
> i think this is the first time i have ever written a kind of sad ending, if it's requested i wouldn't have any problem writing a second part for it with a happier ending but i think the ending fitted the story so...
> 
> if you want to request a fic for yourself, i'd really love to get some ongniel/panwink/howons prompts on my tumblr (ongsniel)! 
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading and i'd really appreciate you leaving some feedback in the comments, ily!


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